“Social Media: Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse”

Apparently today is supposed to be the Beginning of the End: the Rapture. At least according to Harold Camping, the latest of many to take up the job. If you believe, and think that your heart is truly pure, I’d suggest watching this for advice. And if you have pets, better call these guys too. For that matter, I’d suggest checking out those links regardless of the state of your soul, you can never be too careful.

Apparently Mr. Camping already has a backup date: when he and his believers don’t vanish today, then he says it’ll be October 21st instead. Now that’s faith. I predict that he’ll just keep extending it until he’s dead, at which point no one will care how many times he was wrong anymore, including him. Or, like several before him, he’ll declare that due to the pleas of he and his flock, God has decided to put it off ’til later. In case you hadn’t thought of that already, Mr. Camping, you’re welcome.

But just in case he’s right, and the end of the world happens to include zombies, the Center for Disease Control has issued an emergency preparedness statement. Better get out there and start packing, non-believers.

But while it’s a good idea, there’s no real need to rush. Mr. Camping’s calculations are wrong. Everyone who really knows what’s going on knows that the End Times won’t start until Sarah Palin is elected President, and that won’t be until December 17th of 2012 when the electoral college officially votes her in. The Mayans were only off by a few days. 😉


  1. From “Apocalypse not now: The Rapture fails to materialise“:

    […] Kieran Healy had a slightly more comforting message for those disappointed at not joining Jesus: “I guess on Sunday when the #Rapture people feel really upset, we can’t console them by saying ‘Cheer up, it’s not the end of the world.'”

    And from the similarly-named “Apocalypse not right now: ‘Rapture’ end of world fails to materialise“:

    […] David Speer, on Twitter, said: “Oh well no rapture. Just as well. New Zealand didn’t need that right now. Another delay to the filming of The Hobbit would’ve been terrible.”

    And from “Apocalypse not now, despite stern Rapture prophecy“:

    […] Should we call whatever happens on Saturday as the Apoca-lapse? The Apoca-limp? […]

    I don’t want to knock someone else’s religion — my own beliefs would no doubt appear ridiculous to anyone else — but some of these people have been so gullible that they’ve quit their jobs and given away all their money, thinking that tomorrow literally wouldn’t come. Well, short of suicide, it’s going to.

  2. The funny thing is both the Xtian Bible and the Jewish one say explicitly not to predict the end, and neither is very clear at all about this whole “rapture” business which appears to be yet another American Protestant invention. 😉

  3. My, my, would you look at that? Camping now says that he was only mistaken in that it was an ‘invisible judgment day’, a spiritual rather than physical event (really? spiritual earthquakes?) and that maybe a merciful God has decided to spare humanity the five months of Hell on Earth (so God reneges on His threats now too, Harold? Should we start worrying about a new global flood then, since His word can’t be trusted anymore?).

    Oh, and of course, that we should wait for October 21st for the real show. Hm… sounds familiar, maybe I should have offered to license the idea to him. 😉

    If that doesn’t pan out, he could always run for President. Oh, right, he’s 89… well, at least he shouldn’t have to live with the shame for long.

  4. The sad thing is that he seems to have really believed it. I’d almost understand if he was just a con artist, but a True Believer is beyond my comprehension.

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