Geek Drivel

As reported earlier, I’m trying to write a C++ program to let me know whether my backup program is working properly or not.
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I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone. My wish has come true. I no longer know how to use my telephone.
Bjarne Stroustrup, creator of the C++ programming language

I’ve been doing software development for twenty-five years as a hobby, and the last nine commercially as well. So when I ran into a problem that could be easily fixed by software, but couldn’t find any existing software that would do it properly, my first instinct was to dive for a compiler. But as I’d never done any software for Linux before, it was going to take some time to get up to speed on my target OS first.
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…unfortunately for them, it was empty.

What do you do when a fifty-pound chunk of ice crashes through your roof out of the clear blue sky?

Here’s the latest installment in what is becoming a regular feature.

The first in our hall of shame is a message with the subject line “Paraphernalia of high life – for less!” I thought it would be an ad for bongs and crack-pipes, and wondered how even spammers would get away with advertising that kind of thing. As it turns out, it was for “a qualitative replica timepiece for less!” At least it wasn’t an optometrist offering me a contact high.

The next one gets our newly-minted award for oxymoronic subject lines: “Personal Message No. 10177253148″. ‘Nuf said.

Third on the list wins this week’s confusing subject line award: “Viagra with a rebate reduction abatement up to 75%”. Rebate reduction abatement?

The fourth one in our lineup says to “Discover new saving options with Can dsadianPhar fbmacy.” What good does it do to get through a Bayesian spam filter when no one can understand what you’re selling?

On the subject of (oxy)morons, numbers five through twenty-one are the seventeen different copies of a message claiming “This is final reminder for those you did not recieve our Offer.” (Yes, the spelling and grammar errors were in the original.) Um, fellas, just as a hint, “final reminder” is generally agreed to mean that it’s not going to be sent again.

But this week’s hands-down winner, for inadvertent accuracy if nothing else, is this one:

Visit our site and obtain meds that you immediately require straightly to your location.
http://deathcall.cn/

It is with a sad heart that I read that the Weekly World News is on it’s deathbed. When I worked at the Postal Service, one of my colleagues brought a copy in every week so that people could keep up with the news of how President Clinton (and later Bush the Younger) were getting along with the space aliens.

Frankly, I thought they had it wrong. Clinton is married to a space alien, and Bush just acts like one.

Oh wonderful, yet another species that will call up and bug me to do things for it.

I hope he has a really big wallet.

Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure that this is a hoax. Or maybe that’s “fortunately,” because if it weren’t, GoddessJ would insist that I buy one for her.

You’ll have to skip down the page a little, but it’s worth the effort… fourteen “trained squirrels,” equipped with “espionage systems of foreign intelligence services,” were supposedly caught in Iran.

Pull the other one, guys. I’m sure intelligence services would love to be able to do that kind of thing, but I really doubt the squirrels are cooperating.