“Use Wolfram Alpha to Figure Out Confusing Family Relationships”

In my family, I’m likely to actually need this. And maybe a score-card too. 😉

DARK HELMET: Before you die, there is something you should know about us, Lone Starr.
LONE STARR: What?
DARK HELMET: I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former room-mate.
LONE STARR: What’s that make us?
DARK HELMET: Absolutely nothing. Which is what you are about to become. Prepare to die.

(Maybe I can make sense of that now.) 😉