I really dislike telemarketing. I try not to be rude to anyone, even telemarketers; I just wait until they say what they’re selling and tell them I’m not interested. Most of them quickly thank me and move on to their next target.

But there are times when my patience is sorely tested.

One of those times is when the person just keeps going on and on without getting to a point. If I’m forced to stop them to ask what they’re selling, I know from experience that they’ll insist that they’re not selling anything, that they’re giving away a free home inspection, water inspection, furnace cleaning, fire alarm check, carpet cleaning, trip to Tahiti, what-have-you, and that I’ll be under no obligation to ever buy anything. Companies like that are completely trustworthy — in that you can trust that whatever they check or clean will be found to have major problems and require costly repair or replacement, and of course they’re on hand to offer you a greatly padded inflated discounted price to allow them to do the work for you. I tend to get a little testy with those people.

Another all-too-common group that should be dropped nude in downtown New York barely ahead of a slavering pack of sex-starved inmates are the ones that, when you say that you’re not interested, argue with you. Or keep talking as if you hadn’t said anything. Once I’ve told them that I’m not interested, if they want to keep going, I just put the receiver down and let them talk as long as they want. Eventually I hear “Hello? Hello?” and they hang up… it’s interesting to see how long some of them will go on without any clue that you’re not listening anymore.

But when I get both of those together — someone who won’t come to the point, and then argues when I say I’m not interested — that’s when I feel completely justified in indulging in as much rudeness as I wish. I scream. I curse. I have a temper tantrum at full volume, until they hang up or I’ve vented enough of my spleen to be satisfied. The cats stare at me in amazement (or run away in fear, depending on their temperament). GoddessJ sometimes applauds.

I reserve a special place in hell for companies that automate all of this — you answer the phone, only to get a recorded message asking you to wait for an operator to be free to talk to you. Uh-uh — you called me, I am not waiting on hold for your convenience. I can’t get any satisfaction from cursing at a machine that doesn’t know or care one way or another.

No specific reason for this entry, other than it being triggered by a (relatively polite) telemarketer this afternoon.