Continuing the series on accidentally-humorous spam messages… “Hit her entrails with your penis.” (Why would I want to?) “With Penis Enlarge Patch your penis will protrude like a balloon.” (Kind of embarrassing to walk down the street that way.) “I am ready to kill myself and eat my dog, if medicine prices here are bad.” (And would you do so in that order? Even better, would you just do the first and stay out of my in-box?)

Then there’s this one, which is in a class all by itself:

Subject: Be the “biggest” out of all your friends Pay attention to just what people tell about this stuff: “I pleased how quick your product had an affect on my boyfriend, he can not stop babbling about how excited he is having such new girth, length, and libido!” Linda F., Chicago “At the beginning I thought the gratuitous specimen I acquired was a kind of a nasty trick, till I tried P.E.P. No words can depict how pleased I am with the result I got from using the remedy for 2 short months. I will be requesting at every turn!” Steve Burbon, Washington Read more testimonials about this wonderful product just now!

Come on, guys! Any native English speaker is going to laugh those obviously bogus quotes right out of the country. If you’re going to fake quotes, at least get someone who can speak — and write — the language well!

And just FYI, in that context the word you want is effect, not affect. That mistake bugs me to no end, it’s almost as bad as people who “loose” their money — hello, only one ‘o’ in that word!