Where do these spammers come from, outer Mongolia? Wherever it is, they certainly don’t speak English there. I got this one today, with the above subject line:

Got a little hitch in your sex life, we can put it in the helve easily! Our remedy will make you really indefatigable lover in a wink of an eye for cheap! But be quick, our offer gonna expire soon! For details check our official website: [URL removed]

Ignoring, for the moment, the grammatical shortcomings of the rest of the message… helve? I know a lot of archaic and seldom-used words, but even I had to look that one up: “A handle of a tool, such as an ax, chisel, or hammer.” So this cretin is offering to put my “thing” in the handle of an ax, chisel, or hammer? Sorry buddy, that doesn’t sound real appealing, I’ll keep it right where it is, thanks.

The moral of the story: if you’re trying to trick foreigners into giving you money for fake pills and lotions, at least learn enough of their language that the offer doesn’t make them walk away laughing.