Ever since we moved a few months ago, something has been getting into our trash can at night. We’d often find it on its side in the morning, with the lid off and trash strewn everywhere. Kitchen trash, of course, which means smelly, slimy, or both, so this was obviously something we’d prefer to stop.

It’s a plastic can, round, with two plastic wheels and a pair of handles that locked the lid in place, though apparently not securely enough to give our visitor pause. He’d just knock it over and the lid would pop right off.

The first thing I tried was using a bungee cord (or rather, what my father-in-law calls a bungee cord, which is a long piece of industrial-strength black rubber with a metal hook on each end) to tie the handles together, so that they would hold the lid more securely. That stymied our visitor for about two days… he’d knock it over, but the lid would stay stubbornly on. But when I went out the third day, he’d knocked it over and then chewed his way through the lip of the lid, and then proceeded to scatter the trash all over the place again.

Okay, time to up the ante. I used the bungee cord to secure the now-chewed lid to the can, and the can to the wooden fence behind it, so not only was the lid strapped down, but the can couldn’t be tipped over. It had held up for a couple of weeks, so I thought that was the end of it.

Last night, while we were sitting in the office at around midnight, we heard a noise. I thought it was just the cats, but GoddessJ said that it came from outside, so I went to the side door (where the trash can is kept) and turned on a light. Sure enough, the can was on its side, with the lid off and the opening away from the door. I went out to right it, and as I reached for it, a four-legged something larger than a cat walked out, slipped nonchalantly through the decorative iron fence between our house and our neighbor’s, and disappeared into the darkness without so much as a backward glance. It had chewed through the industrial-strength rubber strap, then proceeded to knock the can over and settle in for a meal.

Rather bemused, and fresh out of bungee cords, I set the can upright and went back into the house. Less than five minutes later, we hear the can go over again.

By this time, I was extremely curious about it. Instead of turning on the light, I just opened the door, as quietly as I could. There was the same animal. It heard the door and poked its head up, easily visible even in the waning moonlight.

It was a raccoon! We’re in the middle of the freakin’ city, and we’ve got a freakin’ raccoon poking through our trash!

I opened the screen door and he scurried away. (I’m assuming the gender, “he” could very well have been “she” for all I know.) He hadn’t had time to scatter the trash, so I just picked up the can and jury-rigged a way to hang it on the fence so that it couldn’t be knocked over again.

Five minutes later, we hear the lid hit the ground again, and eased the door open to watch. The ‘coon was very curious, and apparently didn’t feel at all threatened by having us stand there and watch him eat. He even walked up within six inches of the door and peered in at us, before climbing the fence again and resuming his perusal of the buffet. After a few minutes he selected a chicken bone and carried it off into our back yard. I went out to put the lid back on and he watched me calmly while chewing the bone up.

We played that game several times before I got tired of it and left him to it. The lid would just have to stay off for the night. I found it that way this morning, with the can still hanging from the fence.

I’m not sure what to do about him next. I don’t really mind him dining on our leftovers, so long as the can’s position keeps him from scattering them everywhere. I can probably find a way to rig it so that the lid stays with it too, even if it’s removed from the can itself… unless I want to raise the stakes even further, that may be the best I can do. We’ll see how it turns out.