Once more unto the breech, dear friends…
The first winner for today gets the Explosion in a Punctuation Factory award:
Subject: ytyl Rum+or N*e,w*s-: On-co+logy M-e d_. I’n*c . (O’TC: ON+CO) a Ca+ncer Tre’atme.nt Solu ti+ons Gro+up is s_a’i*d to h-a-v+e exp+’erienced o’v e+r a 1+000% i*n.crease in re.ven+ues f-o r t’h*e f*iscal 3,r’d q+uarter end+ing J.u.l’y*, 2*0-0-7 co’mp*ared w i,t,h t.h e pri+or y+e.a.r wh,ile fisca-l four,th quar ter resu+lts f+o_r 2_0,0_7 a,r_e on trac k to ex.ceed t_h’i_s year*ë© thi rd qua’rter res*ults. O+N,C+O add* itionally pl,ans to in+cre_ase serv ice of.fering+s whic.h a+r e cur*rent’ly un,der,way. D’onëª w*a_i,t f’o_r t h+e n*e+w_s to c’o+m-e o+u_t a,n.d l*o-s.e t-h.e opp’or_tunity to g e.t in f-ront of the gener-al in+,vesting publ,ic. On’colog,y M-e*d is in a mult_ibilli.on do-llar indus,t,ry w+h.e+r_e t-h.e,y a*r_e gainin*g mar-ket sh are rap-idly. C.a+l l y o-u+r br+oker n,o-w f o r O.N-C,O+.
We’re seriously considering retiring this award now, because it’s very doubtful that anything could ever top that — I mean, come on, there are even a few Japanese characters thrown in for extra personality! Unfortunately, it seems that the SEC has put the brakes on the entire pump-and-dump spam category, so it may also be the last such spam message we see. I don’t know if I can survive the crushing disappointment.
Next up, we have a tie for the Best Spam Apparently Written in an Ancient and Extinct Language:
Subject: Without leaving your chair Vi utnlehp ag utstjhitfj ra $4.07 C kuhjerzgei ial xezrrwrd is $5.78
…and…
Subject: Because its ten times cheaper dude! Bu jwja y your m gahxjxadfq eds nrqnwhdjvw online.
‘Nuf said.
The perennial favorite, the Engrish Award:
At long last new web-site is realized!!! *Menfolk’s health *Anti-Depressant medicinal remedies *Pain Alleviation *Women’s health *Anti-Diabetic cures *Blood pressure/Cholesterin problems *Anti-Allergic/Asthma medications *Anti gastric Acidity As our clients you can first test our lovely proposition!! FDA, CPA Exemined, Visa Ratified. Worm this out at once!!! [URL removed]
You just can’t make stuff like that up.
Dishonorable Mentions for this week:
Subject: tlupesnu Night oakcircle You will see your penis on MTV Zhiwei Harp [URL removed]
Why would I want to? And I have to say, I never expected MTV to get X-rated content.
Subject: stalmeie [URL removed] Evening oakcircle I always wanted a bigger cock, so did my wife! Jarett Paschal
Try a Jersey Giant, the world’s largest chicken breed.
And finally:
From: VIAGRA ® Official Site [with my e-mail address] Subject: October 77% OFF Click to buy Official VIAG®A for as low as $1.79
Nice try guys, but the “®” doesn’t help, even when it’s used in the name of the drug.