Spam has become enough of a topic here that I’ve given it it’s own category, and reclassified a number of earlier entries on the subject.
I also wanted to mention the blog-comment spam problem again. Oddly enough, out of over two hundred such attempts, every blog-comment spam that I’ve had here has been on one of two entries. I got tired of it, so I decided to try turning off comments on those two entries. It’s amazing… I haven’t had a single comment-spam attempt in the last several days!
Now back to our regularly scheduled spam update, already in progress.
First, I have to tell the spammers and phishers that I truly appreciate their effort to include everyone. After growing heartily tired of the “Fifth Third Bank” scam messages (Fifth Third Bank? Could that possibly be a real institution?), and the dozens of essentially identical messages for other banks, I finally started receiving scam messages for the bank that I use. I no longer feel completely left out. 🙂
Then there was this message…
Vi dfqotih ag aqphwnsrwo ra $1.79 C kynoquddvd ial aiwizqma is $3.93 and many other items for 5% of the price. Click to visit the shop
What in God’s name is being advertised here? Granted, you can figure it out if you already know what they’re likely to be selling, but come on. Oh, and there was nothing clickable in that message either, so no way for it to do it’s job even for people stupid enough to want their fake pills.
Then there was the one labeled “Quality Drugs Pharmacy,” which offered “ViagraAs, CialiAs, PhenterminAs, ValiumAs, XanaxAs,” etcetera, “plus 30 meds more.” Oh boy, sign me up for the spelling special.
Then there’s this gem…
The men always would like, that at them all was more, than at others. So the strong floor is arranged. And when the speech comes about penis … If the man speaks you, that to him all the same with what at him the size of the member – he dissembles. To any to the man not all the same. Penis is a pride the man, his second ” I “. If want is his card in the intimate attitudes. Imagine: Your member will increase on 5-7 centimeters in length! Your member on some centimeters becomes thicker! Your sexual member will lose confusing curvature and it becomes ideal by a straight line! You learn to supervise the moment ejaculation! And now make a real step to this – buy our means for increase of the member
I’m glad they got around to saying “penis,” because without it the first half of that message would have been complete nonsense, rather than just primarily nonsense. Messages like that give me images of a greasy, sleazy Asian man with a constantly-smiling face that looks like a Ford F-150 has used it for extra traction in the snow, sidling up to make you an offer as as you pass a dark alley in a foreign city. Get a native speaker to write your copy or get out of town, guys.
And maybe it’s just me, but somehow I don’t feel the least inclination to order “Vi\gra” or “Ci/lis” from a message with the subject line “toxic or harmful effects on the fetus Pentazocine elegy.”
On the lighter side:
Subject: Let your penis grow till it touches the floor. After sex her passion dies all because the stupid size. [URL removed]
He’s a poet and doesn’t know it. 🙂
This one was (inadvertently) amusing too:
Subject: Re: FULL-MOTION, FULL-SCREEN VIDEO Have you ever wanted a pricey Watch? We have the answer for you! We stock all the high scale for a very small precentage of the price.
So what kind of full-screen video resolution could I get out of that watch?
But the best one of the week was also the shortest and simplest: the subject line simply said “Read me!”, and the message itself consisted of a single link titled “Click me!” Sorry, I don’t respond well to orders, but you get full marks for originality.
That’s enough for now. I’m sure I’ll get more amusing examples next week.
[17Aug2007: Comments closed due to comment-spam attempts starting up on this entry now.]