The Transformers were really cool geek things when I was a kid. I could never figure out how some of them fit in though.

Most of them had a robotic form and a vehicular form that they used for disguise and longer-distance travel, which made perfect sense. But Megatron, the leader of the bad guys, turned into a handgun. Okay, maybe if you stretched your imagination, you could fit that into your mental universe; he was a bad guy, after all, and we all know that guns are bad (cue Earl Ramsey from the movie UHF).

But then there’s Soundwave, whose alternate form was a cassette recorder. And not just any cassette recorder, but a minicassette recorder. Who carries around several even-smaller robots and creatures who turn into minicassettes. At this point, the imagination is painfully contorted.

Hey, as a kid my imagination was endlessly flexible. None of this bothered me… at least, not enough to detract much from my enjoyment of the cartoon and toys. I’m less forgiving now, so it’s a good thing that Megatron has a different form in the upcoming movie. (I haven’t seen any word on Soundwave yet, but I’ll bet they just drop him, or give a completely different character his name.)

But this just beggars belief. Somebody is obviously trying to cash in on the hoped-for success of the new movie. GoddessJ tells me that the pre-release reviews are horrid… I hold out hope that the reviewers are wrong, but I suspect they’re spot-on. We’ll know in a few months.