Paper Spam!
A friend of mine noticed that an envelope had been slid under his apartment door yesterday, containing a hand-written note:
Hi!
Every time I see you I think how beautiful and georgious you are and want to get to know you better.
Don’t get me wrong, I just want to be your friend.If you are interested, I am your neighbor. My name is Travis and my phone number is [removed to protect the not-so-innocent].
Call me!
My friend is most decidedly heterosexual, and says that he “could not shred the thing fast enough!” 
My first thought, on the other hand, was that the message was very generic and could have equally well been sent to anyone — the hallmark of spam. I imagined someone desperate writing these out in mass quantities and papering the entire building with them, floor by floor, relying on the statistical likelihood that someone would bite… I really should stay away from my spam folder.