The Latest Accidentally Humorous Spam Awards

Once more unto the breech, dear friends…

The first winner for today gets the Explosion in a Punctuation Factory award:

Subject: ytyl

Rum+or N*e,w*s-:
On-co+logy M-e d_. I’n*c . (O’TC: ON+CO) a Ca+ncer Tre’atme.nt Solu ti+ons Gro+up is s_a’i*d to h-a-v+e
exp+’erienced o’v e+r a 1+000% i*n.crease in re.ven+ues f-o r t’h*e f*iscal 3,r’d q+uarter end+ing J.u.l’y*,
2*0-0-7 co’mp*ared w i,t,h t.h e pri+or y+e.a.r wh,ile fisca-l four,th quar ter resu+lts f+o_r 2_0,0_7 a,r_e on
trac k to ex.ceed t_h’i_s year*뭩 thi rd qua’rter res*ults.
O+N,C+O add* itionally pl,ans to in+cre_ase serv ice of.fering+s whic.h a+r e cur*rent’ly un,der,way.
D’on뭪 w*a_i,t f’o_r t h+e n*e+w_s to c’o+m-e o+u_t a,n.d l*o-s.e t-h.e opp’or_tunity to g e.t in f-ront of the
gener-al in+,vesting publ,ic. On’colog,y M-e*d is in a mult_ibilli.on do-llar indus,t,ry w+h.e+r_e
t-h.e,y a*r_e gainin*g mar-ket sh are rap-idly.
C.a+l l y o-u+r br+oker n,o-w f o r O.N-C,O+.

We’re seriously considering retiring this award now, because it’s very doubtful that anything could ever top that — I mean, come on, there are even a few Japanese characters thrown in for extra personality! Unfortunately, it seems that the SEC has put the brakes on the entire pump-and-dump spam category, so it may also be the last such spam message we see. I don’t know if I can survive the crushing disappointment.

Next up, we have a tie for the Best Spam Apparently Written in an Ancient and Extinct Language:

Subject: Without leaving your chair

Vi utnlehp ag utstjhitfj ra $4.07 C kuhjerzgei ial xezrrwrd is $5.78

…and…

Subject: Because its ten times cheaper dude!

Bu jwja y your m gahxjxadfq eds nrqnwhdjvw online.

‘Nuf said.

The perennial favorite, the Engrish Award:

At long last new web-site is realized!!!
*Menfolk’s health
*Anti-Depressant medicinal remedies
*Pain Alleviation
*Women’s health
*Anti-Diabetic cures
*Blood pressure/Cholesterin problems
*Anti-Allergic/Asthma medications
*Anti gastric Acidity
As our clients you can first test our lovely proposition!!
FDA, CPA Exemined, Visa Ratified.

Worm this out at once!!!
[URL removed]

You just can’t make stuff like that up.

Dishonorable Mentions for this week:

Subject: tlupesnu

Night oakcircle
You will see your penis on MTV

Zhiwei Harp
[URL removed]

Why would I want to? And I have to say, I never expected MTV to get X-rated content.

Subject: stalmeie

[URL removed]
Evening oakcircle
I always wanted a bigger cock, so did my wife!
Jarett Paschal

Try a Jersey Giant, the world’s largest chicken breed.

And finally:

From: VIAGRA ® Official Site [with my e-mail address]
Subject: October 77% OFF

Click to buy Official VIAG®A for as low as $1.79

Nice try guys, but the “®” doesn’t help, even when it’s used in the name of the drug.

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